Is it getting worse?

 OK, I'm going to blame myself for all of this. I had heard many times that this could happen, but, until it happens to you, you sort of brush it off. And that is exactly what I have done.

Now I'm going to do a quick recap here in case some of you haven't been following me. 

This blog was originally a way of keeping up with the paranormal things that were going on in our home. I started this many years ago. Finally, we had our home blessed and had no more problems for years. I was diagnosed with breast cancer about five years ago. While fighting cancer the coronavirus hit, then my father died. The day my father died I was suddenly and unexpectedly thrust into another world. A world where my mother has dementia and she needs my help daily. My mother and father had hidden my mother's dementia. And they hid it well. My whole life was turned upside down. And through all of the above, I have hung strong. I have never broken down and cried. Not for myself, not for my dad, and not for my mom. I have been rock steady. But, I'm keeping all of these emotions bottled up. I feel like I will lose all control if I allow myself to cry. Being told I had cancer rocked my world. But it rocked my family's world even more. I had to be strong for them. I was very close to my dad and when he died I was the one to make all of the phone calls and take control. I had to be strong. My mother is declining right before my eyes.  I have to be strong. And now my sweet dog of eleven years is dying. He has cancer and it's taking it's time with him. But I know that sooner or later, I will have to make the decision. I have to be strong. Now, if my eyes fill up with tears. I fight them back. My chest gets tight and it becomes hard to breathe, but I fight through it.

Things are starting to move around in the house again. Like cabinet doors and unexplainable crashes. Marty and Cari have mentioned seeing some strange things from time to time. The dark shadow is back. I see it from the corner of my eye. Marty sees it too. I'm not scared. I'm just frustrated. I don't need this in my life right now. But I feel helpless to stop it. My life now is spent completely with my mom. I have not left my home in years unless it was for a doctor's appointment. Even then, I have to take my mother with me. It has been four years of this. And I have no idea how this will all end. 

I have a feeling that this blog is going to be updated more frequently now.

If you have any thoughts or advice, please, let me know. 

Much love to all of you.

Wow, another update?

 I was hoping this blog was going to die down again. When things are quiet there is nothing to write about. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

A few days ago, the weather was warm here, so I opened the windows and opened my front door slightly. Just enough to let my dogs go in and out. I was working on the computer and I noticed a fly on my screen. No big deal. I knew it had come through the opened door. I shooed it away with a mental note to get the fly swat out later and kill it. I shooed this fly away a few times as I worked. It eventually went away and was completely forgotten about. 

Hours later, we had gone to bed. The light was off and I was adjusting my pillows. Something bit me on the bend of my right arm. I felt the bite, but it barely hurt. Before I could move my hand to check my arm it was burning like it was on fire! My first thought was a spider bite. I went to brush it off and I heard it as it buzzed by my head. Was it that same fly? Had a fly bitten me this bad? My arm continued to burn for a little bit. The next morning, I had a large swollen area where something had bitten or stung me. I got out my flashlight and checked it to make sure I didn't see two tiny punctures indicating a spider bite. To my relief, it had only one mark. This place itched like crazy. I couldn't scratch the area because that arm has lymphedema. 

Later that day, I was in the kitchen when I saw this "killer fly" in my window over the sink. I yelled for my husband to come and kill it. I watched as it flew behind the curtain on the left side of the sink. When he got there, we couldn't find it. I even removed the curtains and checked them thoroughly. There was nothing there. I was feeling frustrated as my husband and I walked into the dining room. I know what I saw and there was no way it just vanished. We sat down at the kitchen table. Just as we sat down this stupid fly buzzed around my head! My husband saw it this time. After it left me it flew straight into our bedroom and the light bulb blew just as it entered the room. What the heck, right?

Later that same evening, my son, came to me and told me he had seen the dark shadow in our house again. My heart fell to my feet. I'm not ready for another battle. I'm still caring for my mother with dementia. I have my hands completely full. I honestly feel beaten already.

Update

     I was looking over this blog and didn't realize it had been so long since I last posted. When things are going good there is not much reason to.

Things have gotten strange again. As most of you know, our dogs live in the house. When they want to come inside, a couple of them bark at the door and a few will scratch the door. I have been hearing these dogs scratch the door to come in when there are no dogs outside. I told Marty about it and a few days later I watched him get up and go check the door. He said that he had heard one scratching. Of course, they were all inside. He heard exactly what I had been telling him about. It happens quite frequently now.

Yesterday my washing machine started up by itself. This has never happened before. It's a rather new washer. So you can imagine our surprise when this happened. I had been thinking of washing some clothes, but I hadn't gotten around to it. I was working on my computer. When I heard the washer start I assumed Cari had started some laundry. She was sitting in the living room not far from me, so I asked if she had started the washer. When she said no, I assumed Marty had. When he walked into the room I asked him. He said no. My reply was, "Then the washer has started itself." Marty went to check and confirmed that it had started by itself. He cut it off and returned to the dining room where I was. The three of us discussed all of the things that have been going on lately.

We blame all of this on me and stress. My father passed away two years ago. I was very close to my dad. I was the one to make the phone calls to report his death. I stepped directly into taking care of my mother with dementia. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life! So, I haven't had time to even shed one tear for my father. I have my mother with me all but two hours a day and I desperately need those two hours. she is very repetitive in her talking and can stress you out in a matter of minutes. ( As I'm typing this Marty just got touched by something unseen.) Of course, I have so many emotions bottled up. My mother has asked me every day for two years where my father is. So I am explaining to her that he passed away at least ten times a day. Probably much more than that. I know I need to see a counselor, yet I can't get away from my mom to go see one. If I leave her, she goes into panic mode. My life is in limbo right now so I guess strange things are bound to happen. I will keep you guys up to date. If anyone is actually reading this. If you are, could you leave your name in the comments and let me know that I'm not alone here. ( Thank you!)