OK, I'm going to blame myself for all of this. I had heard many times that this could happen, but, until it happens to you, you sort of brush it off. And that is exactly what I have done.
Now I'm going to do a quick recap here in case some of you haven't been following me.
This blog was originally a way of keeping up with the paranormal things that were going on in our home. I started this many years ago. Finally, we had our home blessed and had no more problems for years. I was diagnosed with breast cancer about five years ago. While fighting cancer the coronavirus hit, then my father died. The day my father died I was suddenly and unexpectedly thrust into another world. A world where my mother has dementia and she needs my help daily. My mother and father had hidden my mother's dementia. And they hid it well. My whole life was turned upside down. And through all of the above, I have hung strong. I have never broken down and cried. Not for myself, not for my dad, and not for my mom. I have been rock steady. But, I'm keeping all of these emotions bottled up. I feel like I will lose all control if I allow myself to cry. Being told I had cancer rocked my world. But it rocked my family's world even more. I had to be strong for them. I was very close to my dad and when he died I was the one to make all of the phone calls and take control. I had to be strong. My mother is declining right before my eyes. I have to be strong. And now my sweet dog of eleven years is dying. He has cancer and it's taking it's time with him. But I know that sooner or later, I will have to make the decision. I have to be strong. Now, if my eyes fill up with tears. I fight them back. My chest gets tight and it becomes hard to breathe, but I fight through it.
Things are starting to move around in the house again. Like cabinet doors and unexplainable crashes. Marty and Cari have mentioned seeing some strange things from time to time. The dark shadow is back. I see it from the corner of my eye. Marty sees it too. I'm not scared. I'm just frustrated. I don't need this in my life right now. But I feel helpless to stop it. My life now is spent completely with my mom. I have not left my home in years unless it was for a doctor's appointment. Even then, I have to take my mother with me. It has been four years of this. And I have no idea how this will all end.
I have a feeling that this blog is going to be updated more frequently now.
If you have any thoughts or advice, please, let me know.
Much love to all of you.
