It has taken me a few days to decide if I wanted to update this Blog or not. The reason being. If I update with whats going on now. Does that admit failure? I made a promise a few years back to keep this Blog updated and truthful. So that is just what I'm going to do. My readers deserve that.
I see that my last post was on August 14th. So let me back up a bit for you.
Cari and I had been blessing the house, and playing gospel music from time to time. Things were really getting better. We were all sleeping better. A few of us had even seized the opportunity to be home alone. And everything was just fine. Each day that passed was getting better and better. We were getting a taste of having a healthy home life.Along with the joy of gaining our house back. We got an unexpected surprise. Cari gave birth Sept 2 to a beautiful baby girl. This baby was an unexpected gift.No one knew she was coming! Not even Cari. LOL! So we were all shocked when a trip to the ER to get pain medication for a kidney stone. Resulted in the birth of our granddaughter.But we were entirely thrilled to have this new addition to the family. Even through all the joy this new little one brought. I couldn't help but wonder how this was going to impact the atmosphere in the house.After all, the birth of a baby was what set things in motion for us last time.I pushed this thought to the back of my mind.And tried to forget about it.
We were getting things ready for the new baby to come home when Marty asked me what I thought this was going to do to the house.I told him I had been trying not to think about that too much. That maybe since things were better, we would have no problems. So we didn't talk about it again.A few weeks went by, and the new baby was settling in just fine. It looked like we had won. It was over.Now the grandchildren would grow up happy and healthy with nothing to fear.I felt so very blessed.The family was all out on the front porch one evening, enjoying the colder fall weather. When Chris said, "Honey, the baby is crying." So Cari gets up and goes to check on her. She comes back outside and says, "It wasn't her. She is sound asleep." Marty looked over at me. I pushed the thought from my mind as quickly as it entered. Days went by without too much happening. Until Marty and Cari both heard a baby cry. Upon checking, our little girl would be sound asleep. I could push this away, as I have yet to hear it.
Cari came to me a few times and asked that I stop moving furniture at all hours of the night. That was code for letting me hear what had happened without having to discuss it in the house. So that is the way it would be for the next few days."Cari, would you please stop calling my name?" "Marty, would you please not walk up and down the hall half the night?". On and On it went. We would let the others know what was happening, without talking about it.
Last week Marty walked into our bedroom and came right back out quicker than he had walked in. He was white as a sheet. He looks right at me, and says,"I just watched the cover move across the bed!" I could see on his face that this had rocked him to the core. It had been unexpected. My worst fears were now being realized. Our Grandson has also begun to miss behave in ways he never did before. Like hitting the dogs.Chasing the dogs. Throwing dirt in their eyes. And trying to run over them. He has had countless spankings. To no avail. Last night, Marty and I were standing in the kitchen talking. We heard Cari's cigarette lighter strike. We both look over to speak to her. There is no one but Marty and me in the room.
Today, I had been working on some Christmas graphics. My back was getting tired of sitting at the computer. So I thought, just as soon as I got caught up, I would see if Cari wanted to take a break. As I was putting the finishing touches on my work. I heard Cari walk into. She was about six feet behind me at this point. She picked up her coffee cup, took a sip and placed it back on the table. Just as she lit her cigarette, I turned to ask her. And there was no one else in the room....................Would you believe me, if I said.....I'm tired? I'm to the very core of my being, tired.
